How I Really Feel...

I always feel like when people don't update their blogs for a while, something must be wrong. Let me assure you, nothing is wrong. Well, besides everything normal that comes along with being pregnant, but I vowed (if you can believe it) not to only post about that type of stuff.....sooooo, every time I consider updating, the only things that come to mind are "I feel fat....tired....helpless...etc" so I sign out of my blog and focus on reading other peoples! :)

Just a warning, this time I'm not going to sign out, I'm actually going to update and it is going to be boring.

Pregnancy is such a sacrifice that I wasn't prepared for. I'm not sure if I needed to wait until my 30's to reach optimal maturity or if now is just as good of time as any for me. Either way, it seems like people don't exactly tell you how bad it can be until you're there. Its like the entire world has made a pact not to tell "potential mothers" about the hells of pregnancy until its too late. Once they realize you're "one of them," ie. pregnancy test positive, then they release the secret.

Then you hear the truth: "oh yeah, it really is that bad" or "I had that, it lasted the entire 9 months,"etc....

A few things I wasn't prepared for, in no order of severity since they all are lame.

- Never sleeping again. Couldn't someone have politely encouraged me to sleep a little extra because it may be the last time for the rest of my life? I anticipated the no sleep once the baby came, but not 9 months before then.

- Severe back pain caused by what feels like my ribs breaking off my spine. I like to refer to this pain as the ogre that is sitting on my back. He comes a few times a day, especially at night, to make sure I appreciate the ability to walk, lay down, breathe, laugh and cough without crying out in agony. Lesson learned: I appreciate/d it. The ogre can go away now....

- Puffing up like a cooked marshmallow. By the end of the day, my entire body is completely swollen, making any clothing besides a Muumuu completely uncomfortable. Where is that beauty from our trip to Hawaii in elementary school, mom?!? I need it or better yet, its winter equivalent asap.

- The fiery dragon that is heartburn. I've never had heartburn (until now) for which I am grateful since I know many constantly suffer from it. Its absolutely miserable. Feeling ravenously hungry while vomiting acid is disgusting, inconvenient, and downright annoying.

- Becoming my own furnace. This will certainly come in handy in the next few months as it won't be necessary to turn on the heater in our apartment, but for the time being, I will just continue to carry around a personal fan--its not embarrassing at all.

To those "potential mothers" out there, I just want you to know that pregnancy is not just 9 months of looking big, there's much more to it and its not pleasant. I like to think though that the reason no one tells you how bad it can be is because the ultimate result far outweighs the inconvenient symptoms. In a strange way, I am grateful for the months of preparation I've been given to learn to become selfless, as I'm pretty certain it will come in handy very soon. :)